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Sunday, June 13th, 2004
10:16 pm - I have more fun with these two people.

(1 gone | blow up)

Monday, June 7th, 2004
9:10 pm - Quotes from 'Everything is Illuminated'
pg 85: 'I tried very hard to be a good person today, to do things as God would have wanted, had he existed.'

pg 95: '…jaded women less wet than breath on glass…'

pg 97: '…with the wings of a half finished book spread across his chest…'

pg 167: '…he enclosed pieces of string that he used to measure out his body– his head, thigh, forearm, finger, neck, everything.'

pg 168: 'like a wagon with no brakes, he never stopped short'

(blow up)

Sunday, February 15th, 2004
6:55 pm - This is how I protest their way of living, by living this way.
I spent yesterday, indoors and outside, waiting for friends to make my day, and when they were late, I let them make my night. We tried to see what we could see in reflecting pools that had dried up so rather than look down into them, we laid on our backs and looked up. I can't remember if there were stars because as soon as my ass hit the ground my feet were back on my pedals and I was riding backwards, hoping if I spun fast enough, I could rewind the moment and play it out again and again. Everytime I hug my friends, their hair gets caught in my mouth and I braid it together with my tongue, into a lock of all the people I've ever known, whose hair has ever ended up in my mouth.

keep goingCollapse )

(1 gone | blow up)

Saturday, February 14th, 2004
2:32 am - Go here:
http://www.oneangrygirl.net/You_are_what_you_eat.html

(blow up)

Thursday, February 5th, 2004
12:51 am - If I had the energy to
To read the summation of the book. Or could read the book right now. Or to make some relevant statement about this. The only thing that pops into my head about distinguishing the harms of internet porn from hardcopy stuff, is that the internet removes a certain amount of social forwardness / responsibility / conspicuousness from who is using what type of pornography. I do believe that pornography works in degrees so I think the what is as important as the who. Does that make sense?

Also,Collapse )

(blow up)

Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
11:19 pm - So long ago.
You're (your) shabby fucking patriotism is hanging from trees, hanging from stars, torn dirty red, torn dirty bars, hanging from your window, hanging on cars, dragged on the ground, blackened in tar, drag it from you bumper, drag down the street, please keep your soiled toilet paper away from me. Stuck to your windshield, stuck on your dash, stuck close in your throat, sucked smoked down grass. Raised in the morning, left up out all night, out in the rain, out in sight, bombs fall fast, bombs faling loud, deafening blast hundred dead sound drowned out by the football crowd. Warlord countries, war torn counties, wrought by starvation, wrought by disease, starving for food, starving for freedom, pleading from knees. Pleading for rice, pleading for grain, pleading for peace a big piece for American shame.

There will beCollapse )

(4 gone | blow up)

Sunday, August 3rd, 2003
11:54 am - Letter to Wendy, 9 maybe 10,11 or 12 months ago.
The thing that differentiates performing straight, queer or ungendered roles/identities is the level of safety with which one can perform them.

As for authenticityCollapse )

(2 gone | blow up)

Thursday, December 19th, 2002
10:45 pm - 10:50
You like fucking up? Well, guess what. Now guess who and when and where. See I been out all night, right? Seen friends, seen enemies and looked the other way. Got more bitterness on these streets, than all my fleeting fantacies of loving urban life. Can't get this shit off my skin, but my skin falls off my hands. And my scalp. Got more dandruff up there, than in the corner of the couch where the cat sleeps night after night, and we haven't vacuumed in months. I'm a filthy bastard. She was right, its fungus, its spreading, I've been wearing the same socks for days, Fabreeze and Lysol won't do shit to my bag or my jacket, I can wipe my forehead with a dry paper towel and it'll turn brown with dirt. Its not the sight of my self I can't stand, its the smell.

(blow up)

Sunday, December 15th, 2002
1:59 am - Bicycle Messenger
bike, bicycle, ride fast take chances, ulock, ulock revenge, ulock justice, ulock through your window, kill a car, wreck a bumper, no brakes, no helmet, fuck you, fuck your car, dead cabbie, take that, death to SUVs, fuck the mbta, fuck uhaul, cars are coffins, your four wheels = your death, your funeral, your dead, you'll probably hit me, get out the way, no more taillight, your flat tire, my flat tire, 20 mph, can't catch me, can't kill me, hit by cars, flat tire, peddle wrench, more bikes than you can shake a stick at, single speed mayhem, fix gear, fixed gear, raleigh three speed, suicycle, no more exhaust, I'm exhausted, 10 hour days, girls on bikes, boys on bikes, kids on bikes, old hippy MIT professors on bikes, bag, big bag, human in my bag, 40lb. carry, 50lb. carry, 60lb. carry, 70lb. carry, take em' out, going home bruised, going home bleeding, hands cold, feet cold, chain, chain broke, chain ring, lockring, Surly, Olmo, Bianca, Pista Shit, Fuji, Orbit, Ant, Independant Fabricators, Serotta, Colnago, Tesch, Tomasini, Torelli, can't spell shit, Italian fucking bicycles, quad-cycles, trailers, I'm a run you the fuck over, dead suits, dead cops, no look through a redlight, narcissistic, naivite, no guts no glory, no brains, can't see, punch a car, kick a car, customized bikes, SCUL, Kitten Rescue League, cats, alleycats, race, Tour de France, fuck Lance, Winthrop Square, fuck Winthrop Square, coke up your nose, beer in your bag, PO square, disenchanted, distance, long haul, ride your fucking bike, getting drunk, getting bombed, riding shattered, riding sober, murder, killing, self-loathing, self-deprecation, no sense of humour, being mean, getting nasty, snobby as fuck, hating everyone, hating people, hating life, hating the job, loving the life, can't smile, can't love, getting hurt, hurting, getting arrested, late night rides, midnight rides, cops, tickets, speeding, not stopping, not caring, giving up, no ambition, hating to ride, still love to ride, no nonsense, nonsense, broken mirror, broken window, one lane, two lane, three lane, four lane, signals, signaling, dispatch, dispatch!, pick up the phone, answer me, where next?, ticket, pick up, drop off, delivery, ETA, ETD, where's the mail?, what's your number, you a bike messenger?, you ride a bike?, you ride in weather like this?, what type of bike do you ride?, what's the weather like?, watch out asshole! fucking punks

(1 gone | blow up)

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2002
7:40 pm - I am not revolutionary, just reactionary.
Was the last best time you had when you were drunk as? When you were plastered to the wall thinking this is a ball? How many people think back to the great time they were having last weekend and there was a bottle or a can somewhere in the picture? Do I look like a goddamn fairy? Do I have wings?

My legs. They grow until I'm five foot ten and maybe a half. I carry a ulock in my back pocket and everytime I really want to use it the only thing I find in my back pocket is a snot rag. What do you do in a day? What do you do in a day? Behind a register, behind a desk, behind a window, behind a wall? My life is so simple. I take so much pleasure in not being you. I'm just going to sit back and laugh. Can you live off bagels? Emphatically, yes yes yes.

(blow up)

Thursday, May 16th, 2002
9:41 pm - Chance for change
put it right back to you, a gun in your ribs, that would be fun in my hands, but you've soured the earth with your roles your rules the stool you drool for, every act held up with patriarchal architecture, one to crime one paid to stop it on public dime, but the same psychopathology is in both heads, it is all out, men against women man against woman, you're dying for your enemy but those lines are not so clearly defined, even so, still, you must do a million things in a day that make you exactly not what you say you are, this is not a have done so we will do thing it is a you will not do again thing, you are not either with us or against us but we will do with or without you, snuff every act that you think is intrinsic gendered fate, snuff every one of you captured clearly in state, you think you can do because you are not, if in the role we are outnumbered in fact, I still believe that the multiplication of (this) text is a political act.

(blow up)

8:29 pm - In truth.
There are many, many transgressions that are particular to the lives of men.

- John Stoltenberg/

(blow up)

5:19 pm - itchy
scratching my nose at the RMV. just counting out the minutes that it takes for democracy to work some civil privilege (sp?).

(blow up)

Saturday, April 20th, 2002
4:15 pm
I believe in revenge, I believe in vengeance. I have no problems with people seeking to punish (physically or otherwise) someone/s who has done them ill. Often times, it is the case that someone who has been victimized is incapable of finding the perpetrator or being capable of executing revenge. I understand the ramifications of eye for an eye policies. Usually the people that play out this version of justice are not just (honorable) people. Eye for an eye, blood for blood is not scapegoating, though scapegoating abounds in people who are violent by nature. It abounds in people who are violent by nurture or really the lack thereof. The human world is a violent, unpredictable, unjust, unfair environment. There is no undoing the past. It is our job as siblings in the same familial species to make the world less violent, more just. I'm a big fan of unpredictability so no arguments for the metronome (pop cult. ref. #1,439). But in all our varied valiant efforts towards a sane safer humanitarian world, if you are my friend, I will not prevent you from clipping the occassional jerk-off whose done you wrong.p

(blow up)

3:33 pm - I wish I was quoting something, but this is me, all me, Fugazi is not the same live.
all the river round Boston is bottoms up and dry, the sky from there to here to Haverhill is clouded and vague, no prophecy for me, maybe you should maybe you should, the best intentioned segments from people that can barely figure their own shit out. the trash that skews a landscape the landscape, the frame the state of mind. one long lonely train ride, will not leave him far enough behind for her. these are our studies, these are our stories, they stratch from urban sprawl to rural crawl. there is a cricket, there is a pigeon bellowing, the suburbs that we pass through looking from here to there and back again, ignoring where we come from, I am ignoring where I came from, concrete platform to concrete platform, this is no freight train, it is the commuter rail. outbound holds sway over inbound. tin roof, metal fence, abandoned foundations, empty baseball fields, swamp land, yellow rusted tractor, roads that no one uses, factories we've never heard of, telphone pole, telephone pole, telephone pole, power generator, black plastic trashbags, route 495, we're here.t

(blow up)

Sunday, April 14th, 2002
1:34 pm - Q
'i know this boy that says that 98% of
all girls are crazy. i told him "i'd
like to think i fall in the other 2%".
he said "so far, so good."
for argument's sake i said i think
that 98% of all boys are assholes.
and that at that moment, he held a
safe pla ce in the more positive
percentile. we vowed to try to keep
it that way, minorities in minor
afflictions for sanity and benevolence.
we haven't talked about it in a while,
and i sometimes wonder if it's
because he's decided that i'm nuts.
you'd think at this age we'd
know better than to generalize.'

born ready #5:
tramps and sailors

zhenelle

(blow up)

Friday, April 5th, 2002
7:50 pm - They what?
"She was..."
"Uhhuh."
"What's his name?"
"His name is 'Lucky I'm Still Breathing'."
"Should we eh..." Makes gestures with whiskey bottle behind bar.
"No man, its ok, but thanks for the offer."

(blow up)

Monday, March 25th, 2002
11:55 pm - This Jacket is Not Waterproof
It must be nice, yes, it must be nice, it must be nice, it must be nice indeed. Pumps and skirtsuit, jacket and tie and slacks to match, but there's a noose around your midsection pulling you back, I just let a cliche slip out there, did you catch it? But maybe man, those cliches are wrapped around my wrists, wrapped around my finger tips, just waiting to come out all over this page, all over the page. Here, there is no sense of security, there is never any sense of security, no comfort here my lord, no comfort here my lord. My LORD, could you bless me with some comfort here? A little comfort here please, no, I will just be riding my bicycle clapping my hands down St. James Street, begging the question, begging statements, "Boston is burning! Boston is burning!" (That's me screaming.) "And I don't fucking care!"

(blow up)

Monday, March 18th, 2002
10:12 pm - Girls are cheap.
Connie cheated on Bobby tonight. This is a rerun reference from me. I hadn't seen it before and I did not see it coming. I was doubled up with my Mom doing Karaoke Baby I Need Your Lovin. And then I so lowed my voice, soloed my throat into Build Me Up Buttercup, but she was, as the song states, let me down and worst of all, nowhere to be found. And I thought, you are 30 something and flattering me with your boldness. Right in front of my mother, no less. I entertained the notion but when your lover called upon , crawled up on your table, my only thought was: Girls are cheap, from 11 to 22 to 33.

(blow up)

Wednesday, March 13th, 2002
2:37 pm - Truth comes calling & My daughter raised tough as shit
I predict the inevitable. It is not h(e)ard. I have said for millions of years what I said once or 14 times as many months ago as I don't care to remember. I think a punch in the face is good for every kid growing up. And my sweet little girl is breaking your sons arms on the playground and pushing their faces in the dirt. I cannot do because I can't and even if I could it would just confirm the longheld belief that boys beat the fuck out of anyone half their size with twice their brain. I can dance the boxer bullshit pose in crowds of pansy paling intellectuals and I can outthink these brute fucks but that's really not tough. I hold my tongue when serves my body and use my body when tongue would just fling bricks at your purchased ambiguous amphibious spineless breath. This is my life and I will sit as the benevolent patriarchal benefactor whose only gift to the world was loud obnoxious cackling laughter and a daughter who could smash your face in blindfolded with one arm tied behind her back. Her first birthday present, a baseball bat. But think of all the fun could be had if it didn't have to come to that. + I am a newly born situationist waiting for situations to arise. + I'm pretty sure I warned you, but justice serves as justice will and I'm sorry for the sadness, my biggest weakness is empathy for those I should not give a shit about but still my heart goes out to you.

(blow up)

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